To all you ND fans going to the Sugar Bowl...

When you see these folks:



Please remind them of what tiger bait is: It's something you put out when you're going to catch and/or kill a tiger. Tigers only go near tiger bait because they're not smart enough to figure out that if they try to eat the bait, the poacher in the tree is going to shoot them dead.

(besides which: don't these people have anything better to do before the game?)

So Gerald Ford died today/last night

Does this mean Tom Brokaw is gay?

A bunch of people have been talking about this

quote from Charlie, which apparently was said in a conversation with Ivan Maisel at the Heisman presentation:

"Listen, it's a polite thing to say, and politically correct, but if I'm happy with a 10-2 record, I'm going to get fired. The two losses were not close. We're not where we want to be. But I'm telling you, with the players we have coming in, including a couple of recruits that nobody knows are going to commit to us, we're going to be a lot better. A couple of years from now, you are going to remember that we had this conversation tonight."

Compare and contrast with our last guy:

"I believe we have a winning record" (or something like that.)

Oregon: will someone please stop the insanity?

I'm pretty sure your uniforms broke my tv last night. Good lord, you cornered the market on hideous 5 years ago, why do you continue to torment the eyes? I can just picture the conversation as they were preparing the bowl uniforms: "Well, we've already got the diamondplate pattern on the shoulders, a horrible black and green and yellow jersey, terrible looking numbers, and hideous pants... what more can we do with the uniform to have something really special for the bowl?" (a few silent moments as the 12 person committee ponders it over, at which point the janitor, who is allowed to leave the "institute" to come here 2 days a week walks into the room, and says...) "Why don't you paint the helmets to look like they're covered in some sort of radioactive mustard?"

Courtesy: GoDucks.com

I miss Highland Appliance

If only for the commercials...

Now that's some proper tailgating...

For all you Domers who are thinking of video-taping your next tailgater and putting it up on the internet, this here's an example of what to plan on doing. No dance floor, no stupid poetry, no dumbass rap songs, just a guy quadruple-fisting his beers...

I have...

driven by this dozens of times, and each time the same two questions arise in my mind...


1: Why do you want a seven foot tall statue of a squirrel in your front yard, and

2: Why do you want a spotlight on it at night?

Funniest injury of the year candidate

You remember the ALCS, Joel Zumaya had to sit out a couple games? Seems that it was a bad case of too much video game playing. Yep, he was injured by Guitar Hero. I think that may win this year's contest, and is probably in the running for funniest ever

In a short while, Troy Smith will be named Heisman winner

and outside of the fact that he was ESPN's plan B once Quinn crapped out against UM, I have yet to see a reasonable argument as to why. He's been the season long favorite since Sept. without a single superlative game, with the possible exception of the tOSU-UM game, and even that is iffy in my mind.
Really, is this the best college football has to offer? A supremely protected quarterback in an offense with several very good/great wideouts and a hell of a line and an excellent rushing game, who throws for maybe 200 yards per game?
I don't buy it.
(and yet, I hear guys like Pete Fiutak(from CFN, the website that, if it had a crest, would have a big shield with a picture of a pile of crap on it with the words "Quantity trumps Quality") on the radio tonight going on about how there's no argument that anyone but Troy Smith can have an argument to win
the Heisman...)

Have you ever wanted to

sit at a pond for 10 hours while absolutely nothing happens in the hope that a rhino will come out of the woods for a drink, and a hungry tiger will take down the rhino, all while a hippo gets attacked by an alligator and some lions eat a zebra, only to leave disappointed because none of the above actually happened? Then brother, have I got the link for you! This here's a live web cam of a wildlife watering hole in Africa, which I've watched for long stretches, and not seen anything more exciting than a bird flying over the pond. But good luck to you in your rhinocerous blood lust pursuits.

The last time ND was in the Sugar Bowl...

Lou Holtz was asked the difference between ND and Cheerios. "Cheerios belong in a bowl"

I really hope Charlie gets a snarky waiter... The more things change, the more they stay the same.

So, in a few hours, the already annoying whining

will reach a massive new volume, as the BCS bowels are announced. And ND will go to the Sugar Bowel to play LSU, and the masses of fans of every school in the top 15 will scream about "They don't deserve it". Here's the thing they miss: The bowl games are meaningless exhibitions. The teams that "deserve" to go are the ones who will make the bowls money. Always have been. You know how this whole bowl thing got started? Some guy in Pasadena decided that he could make some money by inviting a couple teams to play at their little New Year's Day Rose festival, or whatever the hell they call it. And he was right. And ever since that day, people in charge of bowls invite teams that they think will make them money, giving preference to the team that will make them the most money. That is ND in a nutshell.
I guaran-damn-tee you that ND will ahve the highest rated of the non-"championship" games. And if you want to talk about "well, the highest rated teams should go", then get rid of the conference championship guarantees. Why the hell is, say, Wake at #15 more deserving than ND at #10? So, in short, all you people whining about ND getting in instead of your team (and worse, those of you whining about how ND isn't a buncha damn pinko commies like your team and keeps all the money rather than distribute it to the proletariat ranks of the conference) need to just shut the hell up. And remember, in the words of the great William Munny, even if ND doesn't "deserve" to go based on your shoddy knowledge of football... "Deserve's got nothing to do with it". If deserve had anything to do with it, Wisconsin would be going. But they don't want three teams from a conference going. That's not a football decision, that's placating the greedy conference commissioners who want their crap-ass #2 to get in over a better #3 from another conference so they can get more cash. So don't blame the Sugar bowel for doing the same damn thing and choosing ND.