State of the Union tonight

For those who wish to not remember any of the meaningless blather, there is a veritable plethora of drinking games for this event. I propose a new one, and a much simpler one:

Every time there's a pause during which a standing ovation takes place, slam a jigger of tequila. Guaranteed to knock you out in 15 minutes or less.

We all need an Andre the Giant in our lives

Someone who makes our own alcoholism seem a little less raging. I used to think I drank a lot. Then I read about Andre in Modern Drunkard, and you know what? I don't drink shit. That man, he drank. I find it particularly amusing that Hulk Hogan served as his beer wench, and downright gut-busting that Andre used to pelt him with empties (which Hogan would count to know when it was time to get off the bus and get a fresh case).

I think this calls for a contest:

If anyone can document themselves pelting Hulk Hogan with empties (and getting away with it, without resorting to running away screaming like a ninny), I will give you a shiny nickel.

I suppose I should say something about the end of the season

But I'm not going to. The Sugar Bowel I'm pretty sure was canceled. Or at least the second half was. Our team sure didn't play in it. Reports are flowing in now that the robot genius known as Charlie Weis has been turning over the staff in the last week. A lot of people are now stating as fact that one Corwin Brown, who can be seen below missing a tackle just before one of his teammates knocks Reggie Brooks unconscious (just before Reggie Brooks scores a TD), is the new ND Defensive Coordinator. I had no idea who the hell he was as of last Thursday, but even then, I'd have been pretty sure he could have improved our defense. Maybe by calling a coverage play where, you know, our defensive backs are within perhaps 15 yards of the receiver (this would have been a good play for Minter to call against LSU).



Also of note, one of my classmates has supposedly been moved from the administrative side of the athletic department to be the new QB coach. You may remember him from such ridiculous overstatements by Beano Cook like "this kid will win 2 Heismans". That's right, Ron Powlus. Widely regarded by other teams' fans as a failure, depsite the fact that until a year and a half ago, he held most of the significant passing recods at ND. Apparently, he must have impressed coach Weis during his one month stint at QB coach back during spring practice in '05. Plus, with the most over-hyped freshman QB coming into ND since, well, Ron Powlus this spring, he should be able to teach the kid a few things about how to handle the pressure, the media, etc. That said, I'm not sure what's going on with Vaas as to why (or even if) he is leaving. The Powlus rumors right now seem to be more of a strong rumor than a fact, whereas the stuff about Brown seems a little more definite, in that there are actual quotes from him and people he knows to support it.

How sadly out of shape am I?

This sadly:

New Year's Eve, I was over at my brother's house. He has one of those new Nintendo Wii things. We played the boxing on the "WiiSports" disc. 2 fights, we split. After which, I was fairly winded. Almost 48 hours later, my shoulders and neck are still slightly sore from the activity. Almost makes me miss high school, when I'd swim 2 miles and lift weights for an hour before sunrise.

Almost. That pretty much sucked at the time. Especially given the fact that once school ended, I'd have another 5 miles of swimming and 1000 situps to do. In mid-january, when my hair would be frozen by the time I got from the door of the school to the door of my car. Plus, those days, I was in school for swim practice long before dawn, and in school for swim practice about an hour after sunset. That pretty much sucked ass, not seeing the sun for 5 days a week except the 10 minutes during lunch hour I was driving to the mall for some toxic hell...