Possibly the worst advertisement for an establishment ever

Some good and kind reader of Sheldon submitted this to the author of said strip, Mr. Kellett, who saw fit to distribute it in his blog that he includes in his e-mail subscription service, and for about the last month I have thought of this about every 2-3 days and it still brings out at the very least a chuckle, if not an outright belly-laugh:


Really... whose idea was this? "you know, we make some decent lunches here, and we sell bait and we have a gas pump outside- go make a sign that communicates this and don't spend three seconds proofreading it".

Because, anyone who looks at this sign (or at least, Dave Kellett, the person who sent it to him, me, and everyone I've shown it to) sees it as a cause and effect. Eat here- our food will give you gas... and worms. Now, I've eaten a lot of food that gives me gas, I have no problem with that. I'll go back to those places time and time again. But seldom do they put it on their signs, or in their ad slogans ("Taco Bell- Make a run for the bathroom"(this could be followed by a flushing noise instead of their bell)) But if I suspected a dining establishment of actually giving me parasites, I probably wouldn't return. Unless maybe I were a model who needed the skeleton chic look and could use a few extra organisms to digest my food so I don't actually get any nutrition from it. But I'm not, I'm actually fairly pudgy, and thus I wouldn't, and would likely sue if the situation arose.

I wouldn't suggest it- the Knackwurst is the worst

My favorite line ever, for some damn reason

Kevin White has lost his damn mind

I'm sure there's a planet on which it makes sense to schedule a college football game between a team from Indiana and a team from Washington 2000 miles from either campus (and in the case of WSU, from any concentration of alumni/fans), but that planet isn't Earth. The first officially contracted "1" of the "7-4-1" candyassed schedule model, ND will be playing Washington State in the Alamo Dome. And the 400 ND alumni who live in San Antonio will likely want to go to the game. Maybe a few thousand other people who live in the area. As for the alumni... I can't imagine there will be any kind of great demand to go see this game. I for one seldom bother with any road game more than 100 miles from my house, and those have tended to be just an excuse to visit a friend who lived in the area around the game site. ND can easily sell out our home stadium, because large numbers of alumni want to return a few times a year. We tend to sell out games when we're the visitors(in fact, in most cases, people are forced to buy tickets to games they don't want in order to get into an ND game), because the other team's fans believe we're a marquee matchup.

This brings us to playing WSU in San Antonio- who wants to go to this game? Alumni? Well, not really, they want to go to the games that are at ND. And a few want to go to games that are near(easy enough to drive out and back in a weekend) their houses. If the venue is a place that's otherwise a tourist destination, that would also help the draw as Domers would fly in for a week at a time in many cases. San Antonio, while I'm sure it's a nice city, doesn't quite fit the bill. Will Washington State fans go? My guess is that there are about 12 of those in the state of Texas. And the rest are in Washington, and likely don't feel like blowing the cash for the airfare to fly to Texas for a regular season game. Texans? Well, they're all going to be watching UT or TAMU (or in some cases, Oklahoma) that day.

All that said, at least it's an opponent that's fairly solidly in the middle of a BCS conference, as opposed to the quality of opponent that normally is expected to make a one off game(and despite the neutral site, this is, for revenue purposes, a home game, with ND taking the gate and TV money, and WSU getting an appearance fee). I was fully convinced prior to this announcement that any game in Tejas was going to be against Baylor or Rice or SMU, or some other team I'd expect us to beat by 50. At least I only expect to beat WSU by 20, which is a step in the right direction from the candyassed nancyboy approach we've been hearing from the Athletic Department as the goal of their scheduling. My theory is this: As long as the team is as good as it should be, regardless of how hard the schedule is, it's going to be an easy schedule.

Nothing repels recidivism like good choreography

or so it appears this Filipino corrections facility believes...

Someone inform me why I find this amusing

5 seconds of the greatest chipmunk acting you'll ever see:

Apparently, giving more money works

Last year, I was 1/5. This year, 2/4 (2/3 for home games) on tickets I asked for. We'd better put up a better fight against GT and USC than that crapfest against Michigan last year that was my sole win in the ticket lottery. I do find it interesting that every year for the last decade I have put in requests for whichever Michigan team was a road game, and not once have I gotten tickets to one of those games through the ticket lottery. I guess the ticket office bastages don't want me to see any of these games that are nice quick drives. Could be worse though, I could be one of those poor saps that put in for 5-6 games and got the royal bubkus (seriously- how the hell did they have more demand than tickets for freakin Duke?)